Arthur Fauk
In-Brief
Age -271 (approximately)
Politics Level 17 gwqtrs
Hobbies Underwear Puppetry

Art Fauk was born in the year 2371 in small town on Pluto, which is a planet, dammit.

In fact, in 2293 The Grand Vizer of Pluto declared Pluto the only planet in the Solar System. Other bodies orbiting Sol were to henceforth be called "Big Doofus Places".

After discovering the first time machine, he traveled back in time to 1990 in order to make some money playing the ponies. This turned into a horrendously bad idea because the time machine returned without him while he was trying to start a conversation with a policeman's shoe.

Stranded in the distant past, with only the superstitious natives to comfort him, and no shoes that were capable of any conversation at all, he decided to hunker down, pick an honest living, and do something useful to future mankind, like saving hundreds of wild squirrels in his apartment, which he paid for as a secret part-time faith healer.

An honest living was not in the cards for him, however, so he ended up writing fiction. He lives with his remaining squirrels in a secret hideout deep inside the Earth next to the lizard people, which are always playing their disco too loud and he can never get them to turn the damned noise down no matter how hard he bangs on the rocks in his cave.

Not that this bothers him.

Notable Quotes
Arty did things to me that I'm sure were illegal in several states Stephen Z King
Never could any man, nay a god, put together so many words, all together like that, in that thing . The thing with words. Johnny B. Grisham
I have seen the future of fiction. I abase myself, a simpleton, before the great master Lenny ToyStory
I've seen things in this one, for sure, that make my knees itch. The Parpleasons will be conflexed Glaxon Seven, Lord of Misterion
Is this microphone on? Who the hell is this guy? Famous person that you would be very impressed with
He was always going to be a genius. It just took him so long! I told him, be a doctor! Why you have to be so clever? Your cousin Louis.. Umamma Fauk, Arty's mother
Artist's Impression of Fauk, Art